I am in love.
Smiling like a jackass.
24/7.
Need to smash my face.
I hope you are too.
And if you aren't, I promise you shall dream of me soon.
And I will know.
Just like the tarot card reader said
"You always get what you want or ask for because whatever you wish for is so heartfelt at any particular point in time, that all energy is exuded in the direction of obtaining it"
I thought of you and stopped my feet, my hands... From giving in.
I've never done this before but I did.... I hope, I really hope you stop too when put in my shoes.
Why did I think of you amidst the fits of passion.
The energy that holds me to you surfaced like nothing else has ever before.... It never held itself up before for anyone, anybody. ....wow, you really must be Godlike. Or maybe the only Demon my life was to encounter. Maybe for all the hearts that I've broken will be mended because you are going to break mine. Is this how it's suppose to be? Either ways, I know if you don't break mine, I will break yours.... You know how habitual I am of throwing away everyone, everybody that adores me.
Is there really something about you. Or am I only imagining you in high pedestals?
Whatever it is, just your thought had that power over me..... That for me is enough.....
.....And I will never forget that...
Why can't I be like the usual hot girls?
like you know have small hair you know... I mean not hair like a bloody beehive.
Or have like a small butt.. a cute butt. Not a huge ass.
Or just have the usual cute interests like going to the mall or just dogs. Or have like a shopping fetish?
Instead I like weird things like bloody flaunting nice arms or just going to the movies with my best bud that happens to be a dude. We basically hog in the entire movie. And its a secret we hug at the movies because we have no one to hug. You know no loverssssss. Lol
My life is just dumb basically.
Why can't I stop farting around my best buds. And ask anyone and everyone if anythings stuck in my teeth. I mean not like it's all cool to ask because I'd rather ask n be told than flaunt a spinach smile. But it's just groossss. I'm groooossss.
Also why can't I have a normal body which can cut fat with just dieting and jogging like other girls.
What do I have to do? Slog my ass of at the gym like a bloody man. And eat like a bloody man. Protein this protein that. I'm pretty sick of myself.
Also why can't I fall for normal men? Why do I like such psychos. Why do psychotic traits interest me? Why do I like looking at buff men but always fall for anything that's natural. Like I can never date a flawless bodied man.
Why can't I stop making fun of every guy tht I find attractive? Andd then when he gets offended just get put off? Because Omg why can't you take a joke.
I don't think anythings wrong with world. Think there's something wrong with me only.
I'm happiest here. This is where I cry it out through sweat. I don't cry, I don't hug people. I believe crying makes you weak. Hugs make you weaker. I'd rather sweat it out.
And if I really have to have to cry, I cry alone.
Not around people that throw fake sympathy at you.
The gym is my playground....... And iron is my loyal buddy.
Someday, somewhere, somebody will love the psychotic in you.
This somebody will be psychotic with you, will laugh at your flaws adoringly and kiss the psycho-ness like a glutton.
This somebody will never ask you to kill the psycho within.
This somebody will mend ways and make life a little more crazy.
This somebody will be psycho with you....
....someday, somewhere, somebody will love the psychotic in you.... .
Wait for that somebody.
I'm pretty glad that I have been working my ass off at the gym for the last two days now. I suddenly feel like myself again.
There is absolutely nothing in this world that beats the adrenalin rush after a really crazy workout.
This time around winters is always too much fun to workout around. How I absolutely love running my ass off with an HIIT centric cardio session in a jacket.
Then again, lifting is love.
I go one week without lifting and i stop feeling like myself again.
Transformation has begun. Before welcoming New Years, I will flaunt the most beautiful deltoids and absolutely vascular arms.
Even though winters are the worst time to be in top shape, considering how everything is covered, I always feel that this is the testing time. Since psychologically we know that we gotto cover up, we tend to go lax on the workouts and meals.
I go the exact opposite. I treat winters as the fitness hibernation. Have been doing so year after year. I usually go to utter extremities in terms of nutrition and powerlifting because the body feels like it's extremely high on energy. Since we tend to lose less water weight owing to the less sweat that we leak out, i tend to workout the exact same (sometimes more) amount of time without hardly any water loss. This is also because I naturally sweat quite less even in peak summer time. This keeps my energy levels pounding and what I lose is pure fat and gain pure lean muscle mass.
It's absolutely incredible how much a body can transform itself within 28 to 30 days if the right kinds of workouts are done and apt nutrition is adopted.
I have somehow always been extremely obsessed with well shaped delts and a beautiful shoulder. Not to forget a beautiful back. It's the most natural looking part of the body and when it gets accentuated with the right kind lifting, it just looks and feels royal and godlike..
Immediate week end goal-
1) cut 2 pounds of pure fat.
2) get rid of all water retention weight.
3) go max reps of the highest ever lifted on every body part.
4) prepare for endurance competition at the gym and get the number one spot.
Hello, howdy.
Aeee listen, I don't preach sermons.
But I think you need them.
So I doubt if I should stop preaching them ever again.
How do you determine if He loves you.
This is strictly for women that think a guy is crazy over them just because he says he likes you.
You are really dumb limp biz kits aren't you?
Ok, here goes
1) Would he pick you up at 3 am if you are stranded even if his dad says no? I mean would he tell his dad "this is important dad, we'll deal with the consequences later" like a MAN.
2) Will he save your ass over everybody else's? Even before he saves his own? I mean would he get bitten by a dog instead of you getting bitten? I'm not talking bullets . Any poor guy would freak out over bullets. But hey a lover would still take bullets for you.
3) Are you assured of the fact that no matter what happens in any part of the world & you call him, he'll be there if you're in deepshit ? I mean, if you call him from a different continent from jail, would he scold/abuse, shout and then comfort you and take the next flight?
4) Will he defend you against his best friends or even family if the need arises? Will he fight with them for you? I mean would he put his step down like a Man and say "it's either her or I live in your basement all my life dad"
5) Will he kiss you if you are sick to your gut and look like shit? I mean would he hold you and say "baby you look like you are going to die, kiss kiss"
If you answered NO to any of the above questions, Let go. He's not a keeper. He will never be. He will never change. No amount of love or sexy lingerie or great sex will change him. He's a faggot and will forever be. Find a fucking guy who at least keeps you safe.
Not saying all this because I have the perfect love life. I reallyreallydont.
But I have known men who get a YES for all the 5 questions.
And I know, no matter what, I don't deserve anything less.
Also remember that buying gifts for you, treating you like a "princess", taking you out for expensive dinners and telling you how sexy you are are all secondary things. Please don't fall In love with a faggot piece of meat. You get a dignified man if you have dignity. So please don't whore around or act needy. If he really really likes you and means to fall in love with you and keep you forever, he will fucking say it. No two ways about it !!!!
"Will I be crucified for wanting to believe?"
All said and done, I think I'm in love. Considering how much I've been smiling. Quite like a faggot.
wow.
i stumbled on this after a couple of years.
this is embarrassing shit dude.
i was quite a fuckin idiot two years back
is this what age does to you?
just basically laugh at what you were.
anyway
lets write something shitty
umm maybe like omg i missyousomuch thats why im writing a fucking 500 word letter to the fucking internet.
i want to go back in time and smack my fatass and mend what i was.
this is BEYOND embarrassing.
i apologize to whoever had to go through this bullshit torture. ok preettyymaaamaaaasss?
i need to sleep.
get up
get my asssss to the gym
and i write
so basically
now i wont wake up
and sleep all morning
and regret not going to gym before leaving for office
and smack my face a little
like fuck it up
or maybe cut myself?
ya cutting myself seems fun
because i m a fuckin idiot
no actually, i need to keep my fannies in my pants
and stop going gaga over bullshit that never was
i am NOT 18.
you 23 bro. when does your bullshit stop?
just when do you plan to like be nice to people.
im nice dude
but i hate losers
and this is so fabulous
im talking to the internet again
ok anyway i cant believe i liked fucking coldplay.
such a faggot ya
but maybe that was normal
because i was more likeable n all
now im like ok bye dude i dont want to talk to you because umm your name starts with Z?
whos name starts with Z.
be mean
test if they can take it
and if they cant, you pass over.
if they can,
you kiss them.
haha
ok maybe just like kiss yourself for finding a bearable person
ok i
am not saying im like god ok
but ya pleaseeeeeeeee i dont want to know how preety/rich/sexy/successful you are
or your father
or your uncle
the point is
ARE YOU BEARABLE?
like can i have a smoke with you in peace?
i have met only ONE person like that
and thats mr. cokehead.
but hes a fuckin lunatic
i'll basically die alone
with like only food and adopted babies around me
ya babies
thats the only bearable thing in this world
and some nice smelling men
and of course, as gay as ever.... labon ko labon pe plays in the background
oh also, fuck soulmates fuck the world fuck this bullshit fuck people
you dont have to put up with anything if you dont like it
just make it clear
like level it out
dont keep takin hits
but also
learn how to laugh at yourself
dont fight with rickshawalas for taking the wrong turn
or blocking your way
just abuse them
lol
khidki bandh karke
zor se
and then laugh at yourself a minute later
for being such a jackass
also
i need to stop having such fucked up vivid dreams
why the hell..................... ok fooookHHHH it.
